Cancelled Wedding Etiquette – Help In A Time Of Need

Even at this most joyous time in your life, things happen. Unfortunately, anything can happen up to the moment when you are standing at the altar ready to say “I do”. Whether it was a simple misunderstanding, cold feet, cheating, or anything in-between, cancelling the wedding was never part of the plan.

Cancelled wedding etiquette provides guidance, covering everything and allowing you to gracefully and “properly” wrap things up. Having the wedding cancelled at the last moment is a traumatic experience. Using the rules of wedding etiquette as a guide will allow you to walk away with the pride of knowing that you handled the situation as well as it could have been.

Death in the Family

If the wedding date has been cancelled due to a death in the family, etiquette says that you should allow 6 months before rescheduling. This is considered a respectful amount of time to allow the family members and it shows great respect for the lost relative. There are provisions for shortening this time to two or three months, but in this case, the wedding must be simplified to show the family the respect due to them.

Family Members

Sometimes, engagements can be broken by family members. If this has happened, work to resolve the matter as discretely a possible. Wedding etiquette allows that only the couple can decide if they will cancel the wedding or postpone it to a later date.

Broken Engagement

Although a broken engagement can be embarrassing, family and friends are sure to be curious about the circumstances that caused the break. Etiquette, properly followed will keep them from prying. It also allows that the couple has the right not to tell anyone.

If the wedding is cancelled indefinitely, the consequences will be minimal if proper notice is given far enough in advance.

The first, obvious step, after a wedding is cancelled is to inform the family and guests that there will be no wedding celebration. If there is enough time before the actual ceremony, sending cards to family and friends announcing the broken engagement is suitable.

All of the arrangements that were made for the wedding date itself should be cancelled. There will likely be some companies will ask for payment, either all or part of the expected fees. Wedding etiquette requires that you handle yourself with style and grace during all of these encounters.

Cancelling on the DAY OF the Wedding

If the wedding is cancelled on the day of the wedding, the announcement must be made verbally and as soon as possible for obvious reasons. This announcement can be made by a family member with the couple shielded from the guests if they require it.

Being left at the altar

If you find yourself left at the altar, consider turning it into an occasion. Your guests have all come together, ready for a celebration. Why not allow them to attend a party and enjoy being dressed rather than send them home to talk.

Since, by this point, the wedding reception has been paid for, the person who paid for it can use the reception and continue on with the party for the guests’ benefit. You need not attend, or you may wish to join your guests once you’ve changed.

The “Honeymoon” Trip

If you have already paid for the honeymoon trip, you may wish to take the trip as a getaway or a period of reflection. You can choose to take a close friend or family member to help make it a real vacation.

Wedding and Engagement Gifts

Etiquette says that these were all given to the couple to congratulate them on their wedding. This means all the gifts will have to be returned, including cash, appliances or any real estate that may have been received. This will ensure that none of your friends or relatives will feel that they have been taken advantage of.

Remember that cancelled wedding etiquette requires that you handle yourself with style and grace. This means that revenge is out of the question. Whatever the circumstances, hold your head up. Remember that your role in their life was as important to them as they were in your life. Try to respect that and allow for their feelings at this time as well as your own.