Making Sense of Infidelity in Your Marriage

You found your soul mate and decided it was time to take the next step so you tied the knot. For a while things were going great but somewhere along the line your relationship changed perhaps now you are left making sense of infidelity in your marriage.

There are many excuses but only a few legitimate reasons for a spouse having an affair. I say legitimate which doesn’t mean it’s OK but just understandable.

Is infidelity ever justified or the ultimate act of selfishness?

Many people who have gone through an affair try to justify the unfaithfulness by saying their needs weren’t being met. In some instances that probably was the case.

Marriage places a lot of demands on couples and sometimes we suck at dealing with the obstacles in our marriage (to put it plainly). Instead of working together and solving our marriage problems often times we allow them to drive a wedge between us.

Without trying to be condemning or judgmental though I believe that it’s selfish to turn to another individual to meet your needs. You make a vow to your spouse and having an affair is a sure fire way to place a permanent wedge between couples. Sure the affair might feel good but you are sure to pay the consequences later.

Is loss of interest, attraction or falling out of love a reason to cheat?

Short answer is NO!

It’s obvious that as husband and wife spend time together and get to know one another feelings change. You cannot sustain the lustful feelings you had when you were dating. As you mature and grow together as a couple, you learn to love your spouse, despite his or her faults.

Many times a person uses this as an excuse but when asked how he or she tried to keep interest or romance alive they look like a deer staring into a headlight. They haven’t made any attempts to keep interest in the relationship high, yet try to justify having an affair.

I often think people let their marriage become estranged so they feel less guilty about having an affair. It’s much harder to have an affair when your heart belongs to your spouse.

Now, I do admit that sometimes, for various reasons one spouse stops being intimate. This form of rejection in a relationship can cause the other spouse to seek out someone else to meet their physical or emotional needs.

Does that mean it’s OK to cheat if your spouse rejects you? Again, the answer is NO! However, it is okay to get to the root cause of the problem and get your relationship going in the right direction again.

It’s sometimes very easy making sense of infidelity in your marriage but most times it’s a challenge. Digging through all of the excuses and emotions can be overwhelming for some couples.